God has been so merciful and gracious toward me that I cannot begin to write down all the things He has done and continues to do in my life. Trying to 
keep it to two pages is a real challenge! As a child, I had a family and a church who taught me about his son, Jesus Christ. I learned that Jesus was God’s son and that He died upon a cross to pay for my sins. I heard that He loved me and wanted me to be in heaven with Him one day. These things I knew in my head from childhood, but the Holy Spirit did the work of teaching them to my heart. In the Bible, Jesus said, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6, NIV The question was, did I really believe what he was saying?
I began to understand that I needed to respond to God in some way. I learned that every human being messes up, tells lies, acts selfishly, commits all kinds of sins – and I knew that described me too. There is no way to be good enough to make up for all the bad decisions we have made. I wanted to be forgiven, saved, “fixed” – whatever you call being at peace with God – I wanted it. I remember praying from time to time that I wanted to be saved, but it was more like wishing instead of really praying. Wishful thinking isn’t praying.
When I was twelve years old, I was at church one night and I felt so strongly the pull of the Holy Spirit, I knew I did not want to come back there again unless I had worked out this problem with God. On the way home I remember thinking, “I wish everyone would just be quiet and let me go home so I can pray!” After my family was in bed, I began to pray in earnest. I told God all the things I could think of to tell him, that I loved Him, that I knew Jesus died for me, and that I needed Him. I asked him to save me, to forgive me for my sins, to let me go to heaven when I died. I got on my knees and prayed some more. I don’t know how long this went on, but I remember running out of things to say. I got back into bed and put my face in the pillow. I felt very hopeless, like I had done everything I could do. In my despair, I said something like, “God, if you won’t help me, then no one can help me.”
That was the moment when everything changed. I felt no more fear, only peace. No fireworks, no light from heaven, no angelic visions. Just peace. I couldn’t even make myself be afraid anymore, because there was no more condemnation. That was the beginning of my relationship with Jesus. He has been so patient with me and is still teaching me. He is my best friend. When I go to bed, He is there listening to my thoughts. When I wake up, He is there to hear my prayers and spend time with me. He forgives me over and over when I mess up. He lets me start over again every day. He reminds me of the great and miraculous things He has done (in my life and in the lives of others and in the Bible) and this gives me hope when I’m faced with something stressful, difficult or hard to figure out.
I learned to trust God with my eternal life the night he saved me, but I have been learning how to trust Him with my daily life on an ongoing basis ever since. His Word is so powerful. Every period of positive change in my life, every part of the process of sanctification, seems to be preceded by God making certain parts of His Word jump off the page and grab my attention.
In my early twenties, the first time I really trusted Him with some decisions about my life as an adult, He taught me with these verses: “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Jer 29:11-13, NIV Again, I had to ask myself if I really going to believe what He was saying there.
When I was a young mother, the enemy kept trying to accuse me of how unworthy I was and reminding me about all the 
things I had done wrong in my life. These were things God had already forgiven, but the enemy tries to keep them in front of you to paralyze you with guilt and keep you from moving forward in life. He’s a real jerk. During that time, the Holy Spirit drew my attention to these words: “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:8-12, NIV Did I really believe that? Was I going to start acting like it, or just sit there paralyzed, listening to the whispers of the enemy?
There are so many more examples, I cannot list them all. Every day He teaches me some little thing and some days He teaches me big, life-changing things. Sometimes He uses my friends. I have a group of friends that I can call or text at a moment’s notice and ask them to pray for me. You know who you are. Some are neighbors, some are life-long friends, some are newer friends I have met through my children’s lives, some are family members, and some are friends from the churches I have called home – Lafayette, McFerrin, Judson. If you need a friend to pray for you, I’ll do it! There is nothing like knowing you have someone who is praying on your behalf for no other reason but just because they care about you.
Thank you for patiently reading what I have written. There’s so much I left out. Some of you know other parts of my story. All of you know I am not perfect – I still mess up every day. But my Savior is perfect. And He can be your Savior too. I’ll finish with some of my favorite verses in the Bible:
“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things…And the God of peace will be with you.” Phil 4:4-9, NIV
